Merry Quinn

My First Psychiatric Appointment

A prescription note for Atomoxetine

As I promised in my article about sleep, today I will be talking more about my ADHD.

Prologue

I'll start with a little bit of backstory. The first time I started really thinking there might be something genuinely wrong with me was the day I graduated high school. I have no fucking idea how I pulled that one off, but somehow, I picked all the questions and topics I knew pretty well. I'll write about how I (almost didn't) graduate in a separate post also because I believe this could be pretty interesting to some of you.

So, I finished all the presentations, oral exams, quizzes, and whatnot. I passed, with decent grades even. I went home, and my parents went out to eat or something. Not entirely sure, but I remember them not being home at the time. My dad probably just dropped me off at home, and Mom was still at work.

I went into my bedroom, took off my blazer, threw it on my bed, and lay on the floor. A message from my classmate (and a dear friend at the time) popped up on my phone saying something like "We did it bro!". I replied with a simple "GG". Then I placed the phone next to me, and I zoned out for at least an hour. At the time, there wasn't a point in my life where I’d hit that kind of exhaustion.

What happened next was 2 months of pure void. My parents granted me that last summer break after high school. I didn't have to worry about anything but finding a job. Most days of those 2 months were spent like this:

That's it. Nothing else apart from the occasional going outside with my parents. The days blurred together. I had no healthy routine or regimen, I lost all sense of time and self, I was just dopamine maxxing.

Clarity

That was the first time I noticed something might not be right. The second time when everything clicked was shortly after I started my current job.

It was late November of 2024, and my favorite fitness influencer, Dr. Mike Israetel, released a video called My Battle With Crippling ADHD. I used to watch him heavily during my "gym tryhard era" at his Renaissance Periodization channel. I discovered his personal one sort of by accident, and the video about his ADHD was one of the first ones I watched.

After finishing that video, I cried. I cried a lot. I sobbed, and I wheezed.

I felt seen. I wasn’t alone anymore.

After that, another void period happened. I now knew what was wrong with me and what needed fixing, but I didn't act on it. My brain simply filed it under the "This matters, but we'll deal with it later" folder and went on to suffer another 10 months.

Talking to my General Practitioner

In late September of 2025, I had my regular yearly checkup with my GP. This was the time I finally had the vocabulary to say out loud

I'm not okay and I need help.

I described to her all my symptoms and how I felt. She didn't interrupt me, she didn't downplay anything I said. She simply replied with "While I cannot formally diagnose you, everything you’ve said makes sense and points towards ADHD. I’ll give you a referral. Contact this specialist, a lot of my younger patients like yourself rate her positively."

Referral in hand, I’d surely go to a psychiatrist next, right? Nope. I waited until December to book the appointment. The 19th of December was the day I finally picked up the phone and called her office. I got an appointment scheduled for the 28th of January, and now it was just a waiting game.

The appointment

I took the whole day off. I didn't really feel like going back to the office after I served my brain on a silver platter. To some stranger. Besides, I don't vibe with the idea of my employer knowing I'm visiting a psychiatrist in the first place.

The appointment was scheduled for 11 am, and despite having ample time to get ready, I still managed to leave the house late. Whatever, I managed to arrive on time. I sat down in the waiting room and waited for my name to be called.

Nurse: Mr. █████?

Yup, that's me. I got up and followed her into the intake room. The intake process was quite thorough. The nurse asked me about everything. Who's my GP, where and what I studied, where and in which field I work, if this is my first time seeing a psychiatrist, my allergies, and if I ever broke a bone (this one caught me off guard the most). With formalities out the way, she sent me back to the waiting room. About 2 minutes later I heard my name again

Dr.: Mr. █████, please come in.

I got up and thought to myself "Okay, this is it. Act natural". I was still a bit under the impression that I needed to both look composed and sick enough to be taken seriously. I was nervous as fuck.

Dr.: Good afternoon Mr. █████, my name is █████. What brings you in today? I see from your referral that you seem to struggle with attention, task initiation and completion, is that right?

Me: Yes, that's exactly it. I came here today to find out if I might have ADHD or anything else.

And the interrogation began. She asked me a few supplementary questions and built upon a few of the ones I answered with the nurse. She asked me about things like

Some of them I expected. Some of them I didn’t. I answered them all honestly.

After that, she asked me to tell her more about why I think I have ADHD.

Me: Okay, do you want me to talk or would you prefer asking me questions?

Dr.: Talk about whatever is on your mind.

And talk I did. I told her everything I could remember. My story mainly revolved around my early struggles with learning at school. But I also touched on topics like social exclusion, difficulty making and maintaining friendships throughout my entire life. I talked about my inability to connect with people around me. I talked about the permanent sense of exhaustion. And the incredible cost of starting virtually any task.

I talked for about 30-40 minutes straight. After I finished, she looked at me and said something I would never expect a psychiatrist to say ever.

Dr.: Well, you self-diagnosed pretty well. You've developed a lot of coping mechanisms which kept you going, and I would highly advise you don't get rid of them. If you'd like, I can prescribe you some medication.

Me: I believe I've done everything in my power to stay above water. I'm open to medication.

And that was the end of the session. It was that "easy". I got a prescription for a 2 month supply of Atomoxetine, and went on my merry way.

I will do a follow-up post about the medication itself later. While I have already gotten to experience the effects of the medication. It would be unfair to judge it 4 days in. I plan to write the next post sometime between one and two weeks from now.

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